Poly on the Radio

[miss_s_b]

Today's Beyond Belief is talking about poly relationships, and the interview with the poly guy was quite interesting. He didn't make enough of communication for my liking, but he did ok. Unfortunately, they are having a post match discussion and the monogamous Christian guy is making me want to scream and throw things at the radio with his level of Not Getting It. He is going on about how broken promises hurt people and things, and ignoring the fact that in a poly relationship you don't make promises of monogamy by definition. The wanker. There's a very reasonable woman called Lisa who is cheering me up, though.

Anyway, this brings me to a poll:

Poll #2290

Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 32

Is it possible for a person to love more than one person deeply enough to want to spend the rest of their life with them (whether or not you personally could do it)?

Yes
28 (87.5%)

No
0 (0.0%)

Maybe/Don't Know
4 (12.5%)

Marriage should be

Between one man and one woman, for life.
0 (0.0%)

Between any two (previously uncommitted or divorced) people who want to commit to each other, for life
3 (11.1%)

Between any number of people who want to commit to each other, for life
6 (22.2%)

Between one man and one woman, for as long as it lasts
0 (0.0%)

Between any two (previously uncommitted or divorced) people who want to commit to each other, for as long as it lasts
0 (0.0%)

Between any number of people who want to commit to each other, for as long as it lasts.
18 (66.7%)

The state should

Legislate on Marriage, because what happens in people's private relationships affects all of society
4 (13.3%)

Butt out of relationships between consenting adults; as long as there is no coercion, it's nobody's business but the participants.
26 (86.7%)

This poll is faulty!

It should have more ticky boxes
14 (56.0%)

You've worded the questions all wrong!
8 (32.0%)

I can't see how other people have voted and I want to be nosey!
8 (32.0%)

Something else which I will detail at great, mansplanatory length in the comments
3 (12.0%)

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Comments

[ginasketch]

I have a question.

Aren't there poly people who make promises to each other only to sleep with specific people? Okay, so that's not monogamy, but I guess there can still be broken promises.

Don't get me wrong, Monogamous Christian Guy sounds like a twunt (and probably isn't as monogamous as he claims), I'm just curious.

[matgb]

Yes--there are group "marriages" and arrangements where permissions are needed and similar.

So some poly relationships can end up with broken promises. But that's different to an assertion that someone else=broken promise, which is what this idiot thought, Jennie hasn't broken any promises to me^[1], but he wouldn't see it that way.

[1] apart from the whole "if you do the bins this morning I'll tidy the living room while you're out" thing, but, y'know, that doesn't count...

[ginasketch]

Oh I wasn't saying that was the same thing as what gitface was claiming. I was just curious if that was defined as a poly relationship or just an open one.

[1] apart from the whole "if you do the bins this morning I'll tidy the living room while you're out" thing, but, y'know, that doesn't count...


Oh, no one keeps THOSE promises, silly boy.:P

ethics

[(Anonymous)]

There's a very interesting book called 'The Ethical Slut' which, although unspeakably American in places, is very clear on how polyamory is not simply having no ethics but in fact means a far more complicated set of relationships and the book tries to help guide people to do this ethically.

That means talking to each other, having agreed boundaries and rules, if one person is your 'primary' then remembering that all the other people still have feelings and aren't just your disposable playthings... etc, etc.

Incidentally I heard the programme too and wasn't that impressed with the poly guy but was impressed that the religious commentators didn't simply run out of the studio shouting 'Satan!!!!' Although they may have come close at one point.

Re: ethics

[(Anonymous)]

Bother - didn't sign off. That was me.

Jim Jepps
The Daily (Maybe)
http://jimjay.blogspot.com

Re: ethics

[miss_s_b]

if one person is your 'primary' then remembering that all the other people still have feelings and aren't just your disposable playthings

Yes, lots of people could do with bearing this in mind more often in my experience.