Too many Brick Walls and only one head

[miss_s_b]

Here is a selection of the brick walls I am currently beating my head against:

1. Fragmentation. The people I love all live so far apart, and I can afford neither the time nor the travel costs to visit them all as much as I would like - or in some cases, at all. Happy birthday, bruv.


2. Cashlessness in general. I want to flattr people. I want to give money to good causes. I want to take my daughter to the pictures every so often. I want to buy a round of drinks for my mates after karate. I want some new shoes. I want to go to the dentist with my broken tooth. I can afford none of these things.


3. Work. I am working a six day week this week. I won't get to see as much of my daughter or Mat as I would like. At the end of it, I will still be struggling to pay the rent.


4. Londoncentricness. If you don't live in London, you don't matter. Not to the media, not to parliament, not to the Lib Dems... The convenience of those who live in London matters far more than including or consulting or even noticing those of us who don't, it seems.


5. Sexism. The kyriarchy is systemic and all-pervading, and I haven't got the spoons to fight it all by myself, however much I might want to.


6. Lack of Sleep. For various reasons I am not getting the amount or quality of sleep I require. This makes me cranky, and when I get cranky, I shout at people who are only being mildly annoying.


7. Health Issues. My depression has been acting up, I am tired (see #6), my immune system is suppressed by both of these things, and that makes things I would normally shrug off (a food bug, or a cold) suddenly become a big deal


8. Responsibility. I have a daughter, two dogs, and various other family things which I ought to pay more attention to than I do.


9. Trying to keep up. My inbox currently stands at over 800 emails, 325 of which are unread. I have been skim reading my f-lists for weeks.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture. I'm close to burnout here, people. I need some time off, away from all this, to relax, unwind, and recharge. I haven't had a full week off work since before Christmas, and I'm not going to get one until September, and that's for Conference, and I haven't got my ticket for conference yet because I can't afford it. I'm pissed off with everything right now. I am fighting and fighting and fighting day in and day out, and I am barely keeping afloat, and I am so, so tired.

So if I'm a little short with you (insert your own joke here), or if I miss your blog post, or if I don't contribute to something I have told you I'd like to, don't take it personally. Deal?

---

This blog is proudly sponsored by

If you would like to view this entry with a pale colour scheme click here. If you would like to subscribe to my blog click here for RSS or here for atom.

Comments

Concerned (with snuggles)

[magister]

Anything i can do?

[freddiefraggles]

/hug

As above, I'm certain there are a lot of people who are ready and willing, what can we do to help?

[addyit.livejournal.com]

i wish i could give you a foot massage.

[(Anonymous)]

*Hugs*

Aloha,

Mark

[(Anonymous)]

If you need anything at all, the internet is here *hugs*

[muffin_nuffin]

Whoops, sorry. I thought I was signed in. That was me :)

[burkesworks]

As always, I'm never far away.

*hugs* ((((((Jennie))))))

[andrewducker]

*hug* You seem to be trapped at the moment, and I'm not surprised that you're feeling depressed. Are there any signs that things will get better in the long term? Will your money or time problems improve eventually?

[andrewhickey.info]

I could have written most of this. Any emotional support Holly or I can give you, we will. And as soon as Holly gets a new job or her benefits start coming through, that goes for financial support too...

[pmoodie]

I'm afraid the best I can do is offer virtual hugs. :(

*hugs*

Big Hug

[(Anonymous)]

I would offer to help but on the skint front we are in pretty much the same boat. Sorry it is all bowing you and makeing you feel shit. You really do deserve far better. xx

grace

[daweaver]

I totally hear what you say, and know there's a whole lot of us who would fall over ourselves in a rush to help you and yours.

Much love and respect. And a promise that somewhere in Liverpool, there are pints with your name on them.

[ginasketch]

*big hugs*

[ginasketch]

*big hugs*

Fragmentation

[(Anonymous)]

I did have a happy birthday thank you :-)