Update on the Hol Apsie Situation

[miss_s_b]

Had an SEN meeting with Holly's teacher yesterday. She's a very sensible lady, and has set some useful targets for Hol's social and behavioural development, and has been keeping records of her progress. The interesting thing is that, because Holly is now on the SEN register, they track her academic progress alongside the stuff she got put on for, because there's boxes for that and you have to fill in all the boxes.

Thus, yesterday, we found out that her reading age is 13.9 (she's 8) and she would be quite capable, academically, of going to senior school now.

I was talking to my cousin about this recently, and she works with primary school children. She is of the opinion that just like some people are bad at spelling, and some are bad at maths, being on the spectrum just means you're not so good at doing what most people expect in social situations. I do worry about Hol being medicalised, but I am supremely relaxed that her teacher is handling it in the most appropriate way.

Comments

[karohemd]

That sounds very positive indeed, especially the bit about Holly's reading age. I couldn't read or write before I started school (because I guess my parents thought they'd leave the teaching to the professionals) but I picked it up really quickly and then ate whole books for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[ginasketch]

I love how it sounds like you're raising a genius supervillain.

[matgb]

I think she plans on the hero side of things-Thunderous Fart Girl is her preferred moniker ;-)

[magister]

That could go either way to be honest.

[ginasketch]

ahahaha awesome.

[miss_s_b]

I was in her room with her earlier, watching her play Heroes of Might and Magic on her computer. When she said "HAHA! Green has been VANQUISHED!" I knew I was doing something right ;)

[telegramsam]

...or Sherlock Holmes. Which would be awesome.

Just don't make her wear a deerstalker (unless she wants to).

I'm so glad she has a good teacher, that makes such a big difference.

[miss_s_b]

Yes, yes it does. Her teacher is someone I know from outside the school and call a friend; I think that helps too.

[magister]

I think academically, Hol's been capable of senior school level work for a while. I do think that her teacher's going about it very well - her attitude with Hol seems to be that it's not a question of Holly doing things wrong, rather that if she does things differently, then it'll be easier for her, which seems to link up to what your cousin says.

Things seem to have come on very fast in the last few years - Seamus had a lot in common with Holly when he was 8 going on 9 and was largely treated by the school as being a bloody nuisance. He's getting a lot more help now, but back then was bullied a lot, the school's response to which was that it was his own fault for not being what they thought of as normal.

[shishmish]

She nearly has the reading age of a 14 year old and she's only 8?! Damn, that's impressive.

[miss_s_b]

She's her mummy's daughter. And, actually, her grandma and granddad's granddaughter.

[shishmish]

Good that you are passing on the book love, I can't wait to be able to do that with my own kids (whenever I have them). And I couldn't agree more with your icon ♥

[leoniedelt]

Sounds good.

Has Holly got a dx yet? No one can dx but a (developmental) paediatrician.

[miss_s_b]

When we saw the doctor about it, he said because the school were doing it their route he couldn't start anything his side until she'd been through that route.

[leoniedelt]

The school cannot diagnose anything.

That is a massive, massive foboff :(

I've taken two girls through diagnosis, it has to be through a GP referral to a developmental paediatrician. No one else can do it (except a handful of psychologists privately)

[miss_s_b]

There are apparently local authority educational psychologists that she gets referred to through the school.

[leoniedelt]

There are. We have one for Bethany. They got involved because of the statutory assessment we started for her.

An ed psych cannot diagnose.

Only a developmental paediatrician can.

[miss_s_b]

OK, I shall chase up then. Thank you.

[leoniedelt]

http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis/diagnosis-the-process-for-children/getting-a-diagnosis-for-your-child.aspx

Both of my girls were diagnosed through the multidisciplinary assessment at the Child Development Centre in Castle Vale. It was spearheaded both times by a developmental paediatrician and involved about 8 other professionals over two mornings. Rach was 3.5 at dx, Beth was 25 months.

Older children (school age) typically see just the developmental paediatrician and go through several tests - ADOS, ADI, 3DI, etc. The paed makes the diagnosis or not.

The educational psychologist is there to see what can be done to makew reasonable adjustments for the child in the educational setting, what needs s/he has wrt social situations, attainment levels, etc etc.

Definitely definitely chase it up. Shout if i can help (been there twice, and through one adult dx too)

[leoniedelt]

in particular it doesnt matter one single tiny bit what the school are doing - the school do 'education' - the paed/GP do 'health'. never the twain shall meet. One does not control or prevent the other.

In fact, once you have a diagnosis through the 3DI or ADOS and ADI, then the school will have more ammunition to do what they need to know knowing EXACTLY what the difficulties are.

Autism/ASD/Asperger's is a MEDICAL diagnosis, not an educational one.

[staceyuk]

Glad to here things are going well for her.

[andrewhickey.info]

Sounds very much like the way I grew up (my reading age was about the same at that age, and I was undiagnosed Asperger's). Hopefully if she's getting the proper attention she needs for her social stuff, she'll have a better time at school and university than I did and be able to make the most of her abilities.

And yes, she's got 'differences' rather than 'problems' with socialising. Seeing her on New Year's Day, she's obviously more than capable of holding her own in a conversation with several highly intelligent adults, some of whom she didn't know. That's not a lack of social skills, that's a set of social skills that are optimised for a different environment.

[sir_guinglain]

'Shrubbly' - lovely word.

I'm glad Holly's teacher seems sensible. I'm worried about medicalisation of non-standard social behaviour or educational attainment too (and looking at my cousins' children I'm worried by what is considered above average now, because it certainly wasn't thirty years ago). I had a reading age of 15 when I was 9, so that's roughly equivalent to Holly. We didn't have Asperger's diagnoses then, or at least not as part of the mainstream, though I certainly can be socially 'slower' than many others, for want of a better word.

[rankersbo.wordpress.com]

It's about aspergers... but it's also about Holly... but it IS about aspergers.

Trying to keep this brief and not wander off into a long, thoughtful, potentially baffling, philosophical essay.

My son, (Matthew, but I'll call him Obkersbo to stick with the convension of my own name), shows signs he may be on the spectrum. My wife desperately wants him to fit in and have friends- but... Part of me thinks he's different, not wrong. I'd like to make life easier, but not to the point where I'm saying who he is is a bad thing.

I know it's helping my son to improve his social skills, but I also feel a lot of the problems he may come across will be down to the intolerance of people who can't deal with people who are socially different. It's more realistic to teach Obkersbo to be able to cope with the world as it is, but part of me wants to stand up and make the world a nicer place, that's easier for him, Hol (and if I'm honest me). However much hassle taking a stand against unpleasantness has caused me in the past.

In short I don't want to be cruel to be kind.

Tell me if this doesn't make sense and I'll try and elaborate.

Anyway on this:

She is of the opinion that just like some people are bad at spelling, and some are bad at maths, being on the spectrum just means you're not so good at doing what most people expect in social situations

I would tend to agree, I mean I'd even go as far as saying it's stating the obvious rather than your cousin's opinion. My experience though is that people who are not good at various skills tend to normalise not being good at those skills and run down their significance. And at the same time they will overemphasise the importance of soft social skills.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for that nice, eloquent and thoughtful contribution. You ramble, but you're aware of the issues around what your son is going through, and those issues are very relevant to what Miss SB is going through. With such a nice, kind thoughtful dad on his side, your son has a lot going for him.

It must be great comfort for Miss SB to read such thoughtful and insightful words from another parent going through similar experiences.

[guerabella]

Good news, indeed. I'm glad your daughter has a teacher who understands. :)