stuff and nonsense

[miss_s_b]

In 2007, snapesbabe resolves to...

Backup my yorkshire regularly.
Be nicer to options3000.
Become a better qi.
Learn to play the wordplay.
Put fifty bottoms a month into my savings account.
Eat more innocent whistles.

Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa I just watched Van Helshit. You know next time I'm complaining about what a crap wanky jumped-up fanfic writer RTD is? Remind me about Van Helsing, won't you? Oh, it's the most beautifully designed atrocious film in the world ever. It seems that the quality of the film is inversely proportional to the size of the budget with Sommers. I mean, I still have a MASSIVE soft spot for Deep Rising, and The Mummy was watchable, but...

Apart from the gorgeous set design, lighting, costumes, etc, what's the one redeeming feature?

Five minutes of Sam West at the beginning doing his bestest Colin Clive impression (with straight hair - Woe!). He makes such a lickable mad scientist. Little bits of fringe flopping in his eyes FTW!

* fevered mutterings about jars of honey and stepladders *

Srsly, who cast Richard Roxburgh as Dracula? They want SHOOTING.

Still, thank you again to lovely Abi for giving me such pleasure this evening... five minutes of lusting and a couple of hours of disbelieving laughter have cheered me up no end :D

Comments

[pink-weasel.livejournal.com]

It's not so much Roxburgh that's terrible as THE THING ON HIS HEAD which is both utterly terrifying and also the most hysterically funny thing in the entire universe.

I am quite firmly convinced that Van Helsing is one of the greatest movies ever made.

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

It's the whole "lets completely rewrite every horror film EVER and smoosh them together and then put a guy in a bad wig who can't act in the lead role" thing that gets me... You would have thought that just ONE part of that plan might have struck SOMEBODY as being a bit off... Even Kate Beckinsale inna corset ain't going to make up for that.

Although I will be watching that first five minutes over and over again

[pink-weasel.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter that Jackman can't act, he's pretty to look at. And it doesn't matter that they've taken good stuff and mashed it up and made it into a film of ridiculous insanity because it's joyfully entertaining!

I got the DVD for Christmas and will be gleefully playing it over and over and then I'm going to watch Carry on Screaming.

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

Oh, I meant Roxburgh. Dracula is SO the lead role LOL. Jackman CAN act, he was just given atrocious lines to act with in this...

[pink-weasel.livejournal.com]

I think Roxburgh can act, I just haven't seen him do much of it. He was marvellous in Moulin Rouge but completely awful in every single other thing I've ever seen him in. His Sherlock Holmes the other Christmas was terrible and he was upstaged by Bergerac anyway.

Jackman is lovely. I'm having Richard Armitage problems though, he may be wonderful to watch but I've just watched the interview with him on the Robin Hood bit of the BBC website and he's clearly such a numpty in real life I'm not sure I want to probe any deeper.

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

Van Helshit is my "Well, that film was bad, but it wasn't as bad as..." film.

I am genuinely upset that it took hours of my life.

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I want to probe any deeper

*quickly volunteers to take over*

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

Well he certainly failed with the main aim for the character... unless "despise" and "lust after" are interchangeable terms these days?

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

The good news? I found a Sam comm.
The bad news? The top post in it details how he is leaving Sheffield

* headdesk headdesk headdesk *

I swear down if I find out this is because I lied when I was seventeen... [/obscure misreable scottish music ref]

[pink-weasel.livejournal.com]

Clearly they are the same. I don't think he's bright enough to realise the undulations of lust sweeping the nation. I noticed that if you look up any Robin Hood audios or dvd's or anything similar on Amazon they all have "customers who brought this also brought...*long list of non Robin Hood things all featuring Armitage*"

[curlywhirly.livejournal.com]

Hence why I sent it as a cheer-up movie. I almost wet myself when I saw it from the sheer OMGBMOVIE-ness of it!

[addyit.livejournal.com]

this makes me think of the time i saw "queen of the damned" in theaters. the only reason i didn't walk out of it? i paid to see it. LOL i stayed till the bitter end, and it was one of the worst i've ever seen. (probably because of what i think of the books.)
i need more people to laugh at films with! people around me often take them SO seriously! apart from family, that is. ~remembers laughing madly with family at Braveheart's point-eeeeeed sticks~

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

It so totally worked, from the very first "It's ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

[misscoollinda.livejournal.com]

Van Helshit - LOL. I'll have to remember that. That movie is so awful, and yet whenever it's on, we watch it. I only watch it because of Hugh Jackman. One recent LJ person highly recommended Van Helsing, like it was a great film. ?! Is there another Van Helsing out there?

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

No, but there are some batshit insane people on LJ...

[ladyloxley.livejournal.com]

I still want to know why Jackman was considered for the title role *at all*-besides eye candy,it seems.And it's surprising no-one's mentioned the ricidulous Jekyll and Hyde fight near the beginning :P

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

The J&H bit was clearly (badly) ripped off from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...

[pink-weasel.livejournal.com]

It's not so much Roxburgh that's terrible as THE THING ON HIS HEAD which is both utterly terrifying and also the most hysterically funny thing in the entire universe.

I am quite firmly convinced that Van Helsing is one of the greatest movies ever made.

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

It's the whole "lets completely rewrite every horror film EVER and smoosh them together and then put a guy in a bad wig who can't act in the lead role" thing that gets me... You would have thought that just ONE part of that plan might have struck SOMEBODY as being a bit off... Even Kate Beckinsale inna corset ain't going to make up for that.

Although I will be watching that first five minutes over and over again

[pink-weasel.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter that Jackman can't act, he's pretty to look at. And it doesn't matter that they've taken good stuff and mashed it up and made it into a film of ridiculous insanity because it's joyfully entertaining!

I got the DVD for Christmas and will be gleefully playing it over and over and then I'm going to watch Carry on Screaming.

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

Oh, I meant Roxburgh. Dracula is SO the lead role LOL. Jackman CAN act, he was just given atrocious lines to act with in this...

[pink-weasel.livejournal.com]

I think Roxburgh can act, I just haven't seen him do much of it. He was marvellous in Moulin Rouge but completely awful in every single other thing I've ever seen him in. His Sherlock Holmes the other Christmas was terrible and he was upstaged by Bergerac anyway.

Jackman is lovely. I'm having Richard Armitage problems though, he may be wonderful to watch but I've just watched the interview with him on the Robin Hood bit of the BBC website and he's clearly such a numpty in real life I'm not sure I want to probe any deeper.

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

Van Helshit is my "Well, that film was bad, but it wasn't as bad as..." film.

I am genuinely upset that it took hours of my life.

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I want to probe any deeper

*quickly volunteers to take over*

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

Well he certainly failed with the main aim for the character... unless "despise" and "lust after" are interchangeable terms these days?

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

The good news? I found a Sam comm.
The bad news? The top post in it details how he is leaving Sheffield

* headdesk headdesk headdesk *

I swear down if I find out this is because I lied when I was seventeen... [/obscure misreable scottish music ref]

[pink-weasel.livejournal.com]

Clearly they are the same. I don't think he's bright enough to realise the undulations of lust sweeping the nation. I noticed that if you look up any Robin Hood audios or dvd's or anything similar on Amazon they all have "customers who brought this also brought...*long list of non Robin Hood things all featuring Armitage*"

[curlywhirly.livejournal.com]

Hence why I sent it as a cheer-up movie. I almost wet myself when I saw it from the sheer OMGBMOVIE-ness of it!

[addyit.livejournal.com]

this makes me think of the time i saw "queen of the damned" in theaters. the only reason i didn't walk out of it? i paid to see it. LOL i stayed till the bitter end, and it was one of the worst i've ever seen. (probably because of what i think of the books.)
i need more people to laugh at films with! people around me often take them SO seriously! apart from family, that is. ~remembers laughing madly with family at Braveheart's point-eeeeeed sticks~

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

It so totally worked, from the very first "It's ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

[misscoollinda.livejournal.com]

Van Helshit - LOL. I'll have to remember that. That movie is so awful, and yet whenever it's on, we watch it. I only watch it because of Hugh Jackman. One recent LJ person highly recommended Van Helsing, like it was a great film. ?! Is there another Van Helsing out there?

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

No, but there are some batshit insane people on LJ...

[ladyloxley.livejournal.com]

I still want to know why Jackman was considered for the title role *at all*-besides eye candy,it seems.And it's surprising no-one's mentioned the ricidulous Jekyll and Hyde fight near the beginning :P

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

The J&H bit was clearly (badly) ripped off from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...