Thank you, Woman's Hour

[miss_s_b]

Yesterday was... Interesting.

• I completely unintentionally pissed off several people
• I had blazing rows with several other people
• The landlord of my house came round to fix the boiler in the morning before I was properly awake and saw the shameful state of the house
• I had a long and busy shift at work being festive with beer, and having to be pleasant to people I did not want to be pleasant to
• I spent most of the day keyed up and hoping for Mat to get this job which we have been foolishly pinning all our hopes on for ages... and he didn't get it.

By the time I got home last night, then, I was completely wiped out, demoralised, and wondering what the point of it all is.

This morning, the radio switched itself on as usual, and I was amused by listening to Harperson squirming on the Today programme. I dozed for a bit and then Woman's Hour came on... And it was a special prog all dedicated to families falling out. And it reminded me how lucky I am. I sill have both my parents, and they are still together, and they haven't disowned me. I get on with both my brothers (just got a text from one of them wishing me happy Jedi Day LOL). I get on with the father of my child, even though we're not together any more. My child is happy and healthy and intelligent. And I have some truly amazing friends. There's a lot of you reading this who are not blood relations, who might not even be on the same continent, but I think of you as family.

And I have Mat. I know that there are various people who think that Mat is not good enough for me because he's not incredibly rich and keeping me in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed. But you know what? That's really not important. I don't mind being the main wage earner in this family. Truth be told, I quite like it. I always HATED being dependent on Ian, and now I am (mostly, if shakily) standing on my own two financial feet. What Mat provides that is more important than money is the kind of emotional support I never thought possible. My brain is full of interesting little kinks and corners, and he doesn't judge me for any of it. He just holds me and cares while I am working them through. After several years of various people trying to persuade me to go to the doctor about my mental health (and yes, Rosalind and Judith, I probably should have listened sooner) he was the one who succeeded in persuading me, and held my hand while I was in there, and prompted me to speak when all I wanted to do was stare at my shoes and cry. He copes, and helps me to cope, when I have a panic attack. He's a voice of calm reason when I am going off on a rant. He gives the best backrubs in the world. And he does amazing baking.

Yes, most of the time I wish we had a bit more money and a lot less stress. But we have each other, and that's worth more than any money.

So, yes, thank you Woman's Hour for reminding me how lucky I am. I have a fabulous support network. I have remembered that there is a point to it all. And I think I'm going to be OK.

Today is going to be a day of catching up. Tomorrow, I eBay. That will give us a little financial cushion, hopefully. And bit by bit, we'll get there.

Comments

[ginasketch]

This made me misty eyed because I am a big soppy sop.

[miss_s_b]

* snuggle *

I'm pretty lucky to have you, too, you know.

[rhythmaning]

Me too! :)

[matgb]

 

[miss_s_b]

[innerbrat]

I know that there are various people who think that Mat is not good enough for me because he's not incredibly rich and keeping me in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed.

*rolls up sleeves* who are these people?

[miss_s_b]

Mostly real life people.

[ginasketch]

GINA SMASH!

[miss_s_b]

* snuggle *

They only have my best interests at heart.

[wildthyme]

Grrr.

Just because he isn't employed doesn't mean he doesn't contribute. Like you said, he gives you everything else you could need and while more money would be nice, it's not the end of the world.

*hugs*

[miss_s_b]

I think some people just have very old-fashioned ideas about what male and female roles ought to be.

[rhythmaning]

Dear god, if people really think that - well, I actually don't know what to say!

I went to a talk about happiness and economics last week. Happiness is not correlated with wealth or income.

And I wish you happiness!

[andrewducker]

That really is very sweet.

[purplecthulhu]

Awwwww - hugs!

[ponygirl72.livejournal.com]

What a wonderful entry. Thank you for getting my day started off on the right foot, when it was in danger of being derailed by pissyness and a poor attitude. :-)

[miss_s_b]

My Pleasure :D

[el_staplador]

*hugs*

Yes, I was thinking about this sort of thing myself earlier today, going into town to get my little brother a birthday present. This is the Year of Many Parties (R's 18th, D's 13th, my wedding, J's 21st) and is technically also the year of my parents' silver wedding. They split up nine years ago, but still get on well enough to talk about having a party for that. It's good. We're lucky.

[miss_s_b]

Lucky is good!

[staceyuk]

*hug*

[burkesworks]

You have Mat, you have the Shrub, and you have cinnamon biscuits, and nobody else in the world has that combination! You'll be fine with that little lot. *hugs*

[perlmonger]

Ach! {{ Jennie }} even though I've never actually met you. You're one of the good ones: you help me keep not only some small faith in humanity, but even a fragile and tentative hope that there's a chance the party we're both in isn't quite as corrupt and bastardous as the alternatives. Or bits of it aren't at least.

[miss_s_b]

Well, I'm glad there are some people who think I am one of the good ones. Lots of people don't like me one jot. Mind, they're generally people I don't give a toss about.

[andrewhickey.info]

Anyone who says Mat doesn't deserve you is cretinous. I *hate* people who pass judgement on others' relationships anyway (various of Holly's friends do not like me at all, and that prejudices me against such people even more than my hatred of interference in general) but it's very obvious that he loves you, and you even more obviously absolutely adore him.
I'm not going to get into who 'deserves' who, but he's obviously good for you, and you're both great people, and if anyone dares suggest that he doesn't 'deserve' you or that you don't 'deserve' him in my presence, physical violence may well ensue.

[heliumflash]

various of Holly's friends do not like me at all

You'd be surprised. You really would.

[miss_s_b]

* snuggle *

* beard tug *