National Coming Out Day

[miss_s_b]

I don't think I have ever officially come out as bi. There ought to be some sort of ceremony or something, with respect to David's eloquent opinions. Instead it's just been casually dropped into enough conversations that word got around and now everyone knows. To be honest, I feel like kind of a fraud even typing this. I'm cisgendered, I'm in a very happy and committed (albeit open) heterosexual relationship, both of which facts allow me to pass for normal to anyone who doesn't want to scratch below the surface (and most people don't). Therefore I have never faced the kind of bald prejudice that a lot of my gay, or bi-but-in-same-sex-relationship, or trans friends have. I am comfortable in my sexuality, and most people who I spend time with (including customers in the pub, to my somewhat-surprise) don't seem bothered at all; or at least, if they are, they don't show it in front of me.

If only everyone had it as easy as I have.

I'll continue to try to do my bit to make sure that one day, everyone will.

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Comments

[shishmish]

If anyone is surprised at you coming out as bi, well, was it not THAT bloody obvious XD

I'm a 'haven't a clue' - I like the men, but have crushed on a few girls in my time (subsconsciously as well it seems - long story) yet I can't really deem my self as 'straight' or 'bi' - I', just 'me'

[miss_s_b]

For the record, I rank myself at 2 on the Kinsey scale. I fancy lots more men than girls. But being comfortable being yourself is the best that any of us can hope for, I think.

[shishmish]

But being comfortable being yourself is the best that any of us can hope for, I think.

I couldn't agree more. Sadly some people just love to make it their business of making you uncomfortable.

[ginasketch]

People who pick apart my bisexuality make me feel like a fraud too sometimes. It doesn't help that I have OCD and mull over those accusations far more than they deserve.

[miss_s_b]

I think I'm just a lot better at not giving a toss than you. I wish it was a teachable skill.

[ginasketch]

I used to not give a toss a lot more when I was younger. I sometimes wonder what happened...

[miss_s_b]

People happened. They do that.

* hug *

I still think you're awesome.

[ginasketch]

*hugs* likewise.

[innerbrat]

No one* who's met me in the last 4 years believes I'm bi. Ever. Someone once n the pub said "well, there are no bisexuals here!" and I raised my hand and they all acted surprised.

A few eeks later, one of the same people said "yeah, but you don't like men!" and I gave up. Let them think I'm a lesbian, as long as they don't think I'm straight.

(Rob can handle the denial of his very existence and the love we shared)




*for a given value of 'no one' which actually means 'only the exceptionally awesome and usually bisexual people'

[miss_s_b]

I really don't get that thought process. It's just ODD to me.

[etoile]

I can understand why people need to come out and if they're happy doing so, that's brilliant but I know I'm probably in the minority here, I've always felt that it's only the business of me and the people I sleep with. Though, that's probably more down to me not giving a toss what other folk get up to =P

[von_geisterhand]

Minority or not, I would definitely like to second that opinion.

[crashmatt.livejournal.com]

I've not really come out as bi - there are a few friends who know, but not many. I think (BICBW) that society is more accepting of bi women than bi men, not sure why. I'm not interested in men romantically, only sexually, which is why I don't tell people - my sex life is none of their business.

Similarly, there are not that many people who know about my crossdressing. You guys know, but not many people IRL. My ex (who liked it, yay) and a couple of others. Crossdressing, I think, is even less accepted than being bi.

[miss_s_b]

:(

[softfruit]

As a rule of thumb*, I'd say straight society is more accepting of bisexuality in women than in men, but gay society vice versa. As with any internet rule of thumb, there will be someone reading this for whom the opposite applies in spades.




(* Dubious Source: running a support group for bi/questioning people for ten years)

[moviegrrl]

Funnily enough, your post echoes one that has been going around my head for ages. (But is way more articulate!)
I've never officially come out as bi, but most of my close friends know and have always known. I know I'm very lucky, as my sexuality doesn't cause me any problems or prejudice. Like you, I feel that I need to do my bit.