* I'm increasingly thinking that the laser is, to use the technical term, Woo Woo Shite: "results no better than a placebo" Wikipedia says on the use of the treatment in humans. Well, I suppose it can't hurt for a coupke of weeks.
I've now got doggy massage instructions, so we've been doing that: Jo just thinks it's a strange kind of snuggle, I think, so she's quite happy with it (but wishes I'd just get on to the tummy rubs!).
Bugs, on the other hand, is getting nicely lame again now that he's not spending all his time loafing about in the field. I'll give it a few more days and then have the second-opinion-vet back.
I went out on my normal Saturday afternoon coffee date earlier. Though since it's the summer I'm not drinking coffee and I was on my own as both the friends who normally join me have serious health stuff going on with family members, so not much of a 'date' either.
Anyway, I drove over to Rochester and as I got closer I noticed the skies darkening. As I parked up the rain started falling, as I got the chair out of the car the thunder started, and by the time I'd stuck the wheels on it was raining pretty heavily. And there was me in just shirtsleeves. So I zipped down onto the high street as fast as I could, and on the bright side the rebuilding I've done on the eBay chair this week makes it handle a lot better, and it's still massively better than the clown chair in terms of ride across Rochester's fetish for bricked roads, cobbles and heritage paving.
I slowly dried out once I was at the George, and what do you know, the thunder stopped and the rain died away. On the bright side my meal was pretty damned good, I went for the special, which was a chunk of salmon the size of my paired fists on a bed of pappardelle pasta with baby tomatoes roasted on the vine and olives. Yummy. Having looked it up, technically, the pasta probably wasn't wide enough to be pappardelle, more of a linguine, really, but it was liberally herbed and pretty damned tasty. On the negative side they did have the TV screens behind the bar tuned to Brexit news, but they have the sound off and subtitles on, so mostly I could ignore that.
So I paid up and headed out. I'd no sooner set the chair down on the pavement (drawback to the George is both its entrances are up steps), than the rain started again, and as I got to the car the thunder was rolling in again. Soaked for a second time. And of course the clouds followed me home. In fact it was raining so heavily I sat in the car on the drive for 20 minutes in the hope it might ease off before making a dash to the door.
Four hours later and it's still peeing down! You've got to love the British summer.
Just, to this guy from Gawker, don’t expect a pat on the head for having outed someone, or claim your exposure of their private affairs makes that person better at their own job. Gawker didn’t benefit anybody by outing Anderson Cooper back in the day, and I highly doubt they had any noble motives when they did so. It was just about selling ad space for more money, not about changing the world for the better.
At least 14 killed and nine wounded following suicide bombing and gun battle at the city’s Naasa Hablood hotel
At least 14 people were killed when gunmen stormed a hotel in Somalia’s capital and took an unknown number of hotel guests hostage, police and medical workers said on Saturday.
Security forces then hunted down the attackers and ended the assault, which began with an explosives-laden vehicle blowing up at the hotel gate and lasted for hours.Continue reading...
Heads of commerce groups say they do not like the uncertainty Brexit has heralded but nor do they want a rushed deal
UK business leaders have cautioned against kickstarting the process to leave the EU too quickly, after European governments piled pressure on Britain to leave the bloc as soon as possible.
Acknowledging that the climate of uncertainty that came with the referendum result was bad for the economy, the heads of the UK’s biggest business groups urged the government not to rush to invoke article 50 of the Lisbon treaty, which sets out what an EU country must do leave the union voluntarily.Continue reading...
Will Davies, a politics professor and economic sociologist at Goldsmiths, University of London, summarized his thoughts on Brexit for the Political Economy and Research Centre, arguing that the split wasn’t one of left and right, young and old, racist or not racist, but center and the periphery. You can read it in full there, or scroll down for my summary.
Many of the strongest advocates for Leave, many have noted, were actually among the beneficiaries of the UK’s relationship with the EU. Small towns and rural areas receive quite a bit of financial support. Those regions that voted for Leave in the greatest numbers, then, will also suffer some of the worst consequences of the Leave. What motivated to them to vote for a change that will in all likelihood make their lives worse?
Davies argues that the economic support they received from their relationship with the EU was paired with a culturally invisibility or active denigration by those in the center. Those in the periphery lived in a “shadow welfare state” alongside “a political culture which heaped scorn on dependency.”
Davies uses philosopher Nancy Fraser’s complementary ideas of recognition and redistribution: people need economic security (redistribution), but they need dignity, too (recognition). Malrecognition can be so psychically painful that even those who knew they would suffer economically may have been motivated to vote Leave. “Knowing that your business, farm, family or region is dependent on the beneficence of wealthy liberals,” writes Davies, “is unlikely to be a recipe for satisfaction.”
It was in this context that the political campaign for Leave penned the slogan: “Take back control.” In sociology we call this framing, a way of directing people to think about a situation not just as a problem, but a particular kind of problem. “Take back control” invokes the indignity of oppression. Davies explains:
It worked on every level between the macroeconomic and the psychoanalytic. Think of what it means on an individual level to rediscover control. To be a person without control (for instance to suffer incontinence or a facial tick) is to be the butt of cruel jokes, to be potentially embarrassed in public. It potentially reduces one’s independence. What was so clever about the language of the Leave campaign was that it spoke directly to this feeling of inadequacy and embarrassment, then promised to eradicate it. The promise had nothing to do with economics or policy, but everything to do with the psychological allure of autonomy and self-respect.
From this point of view, Davies thinks that the reward wasn’t the Leave, but the vote itself, a veritable middle finger to the UK center and the EU “eurocrats.” They know their lives won’t get better after a Brexit, but they don’t see their lives getting any better under any circumstances, so they’ll take the opportunity to pop a symbolic middle finger. That’s all they think they have.
And that’s where Davies thinks the victory of the Leave vote parallels strongly with Donald Trump’s rise in the US:
Amongst people who have utterly given up on the future, political movements don’t need to promise any desirable and realistic change. If anything, they are more comforting and trustworthy if predicated on the notion that the future is beyond rescue, for that chimes more closely with people’s private experiences.
Some people believe that voting for Trump might in fact make things worse, but the pleasure of doing so — of popping a middle finger to the Republican party and political elites more generally — would be satisfaction enough. In this sense, they may be quite a lot like the Leavers. For the disenfranchised, a vote against pragmatism and solidarity may be the only satisfaction that this election, or others, is likely to get them.Lisa Wade, PhD is a professor at Occidental College. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture, and Gender, a textbook. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
( Read more... )
Dear Captain Awkward,
I couldn’t find anything like this in your archives, so I hope you don’t mind me asking for advice.
I’m a 23 year old woman and I’ve never been in a relationship. It just doesn’t particularly interest me, and I identify as an aro-ace and I feel satisfied by all my platonic relationships. I have dated in the past, which has clued me in to things I like and don’t like, and I’ve also come to realise that dating people I don’t know makes me really uncomfortable with the thought that they will want things I don’t.
During school, my friends told me that a guy at a party had been hardcore flirting with me and I hadn’t noticed. I’ve been messaging him on and off since and we’ve gone on two dates, and I don’t know him well enough to want to go on more – I want to know him as a friend before we try more dates. The problem is, one of my friends is meddling to try and push me into a relationship with him, and I just want to run the other way. Despite not hanging out in five years of school, she’s asked me twice in two weeks to hang out and if I decline to save money, changes plans conveniently so that I don’t have to pay anything. I know she’s meddling, and another friend has admitted as such. All she’s doing is making me want to duck my head and hide – the more she pushes, the less I want to know this guy at all.
I don’t know how to tell this guy that I want to know him as a friend before we progress without hurting his feelings, and I really need to tell my friend to stop meddling because it makes me really anxious and uncomfortable, but I have no idea how. Do you have any advice or scripts that might help?
Happily Single and Being Pressured
Dear Happily Single:
Be blunt and let them know where you stand. It’s actually the respectful, friendly thing to do. You can do it!
“Friend, stop meddling. I will work things out with this guy in my own way and at my own pace. You’re driving me bonkers right now and making me feel pressured and annoyed. Knock it off!”
“Guy, I like hanging out with you and I’d like to maybe be friends. I don’t think I want to go on any more DATE-dates for the time being, though I will let you know if that changes. Is that cool?”
“I’m happy being single.” (Repeat as necessary, to the point where the conversations become very boring because you default to saying this every time the topic comes up). “But won’t you give him a chance?” “I’m happy being single.” “But he was flirting with you!” “Cool. I’m happy being single.” “I just want you to be happy.” “Good! I’m happy being single.” “But I thought you liiiiiked me.” “I do like you as a friend. I’m happy being single.” “I just want to help you.” “But I don’t want help. I’m happy being single.”
“You already know what I’m gonna say: I’m happy being single.”
Guy and Friend(s) will feel whatever they feel. Maybe Guy won’t be interested in hanging out just as friends. Maybe Friend(s) will deny their meddling or be offended that you don’t want them to do more of it and be miffed for a while. Maybe they will get it and apologize and stop pressuring you. You can’t magically prevent people from doing stuff that annoys you, but you can have a conversation where you let them know how you feel about it. Stop silently accepting their annoying behavior. You are not “being mean” or “causing trouble” by stating your needs and boundaries.
You got this!
Stratton Oilfield Systems seeks to turn former Texas work camp into 500-bed facility with improved living conditions, which activists say would still be ‘prison’
Federal immigration officials are moving forward with plans for a new 500-bed family detention center to house migrant women and children, even as many advocates and politicians have called for the closure of such facilities altogether.
Officials in Dimmit County, 45 miles from the Texas border with Mexico, say they’ll consider a bid on Monday from a firm who says their facility in a 27-acre former work camp for oil workers would provide dramatically better conditions than two other family detention centers in the state.Continue reading...
Warren’s presence in swing state meant to help galvanize progressives behind Clinton amid suggestions the appearance is a preview of the Democratic ticket
- Bernie Sanders: I will vote for Hillary Clinton – to stop Donald Trump
- Warren as VP would be a middle finger to Wall Street
Hillary Clinton will return to Ohio on Monday with Elizabeth Warren in tow. As Democrats sharpen their general election argument against Donald Trump, it will be their first joint appearance on the campaign trail.
Dear Captain Awkward,
Met this girl through her uncle, have known her for
Over 20 months, we’ve met a couple of times, nothing much happened, but used to keep ourselves updated over texts, she asked me out for dinner or lunch a couple of times, I had important things to address at that point of time, nor was I sure about my feelings towards her, it’s been six months since she moved to Australia for her education, that’s when I realised she’s the one, i’m not active much on social media, don’t keep my profile updated, and I did confess to her about me liking her, she said it was overwhelming but she isn’t into anyone now and wishes to focus on her career and has a lot going on her plate now, and since then she says she’s busy with all her things back there, but i see she’s got a pretty happening life making new guy friends and isn’t as busy as she’d told me that she is, with all her assessments and assignments, according to her social media updates, when I’m back here in India, wasting my time thinking about her, she’s back in town but hasn’t kept me informed, got to know this through social media too, and I have no idea what she thinks about me, because the moment I told her I like her, she tried avoiding, when I stopped completely she checked on me a couple of times by leaving me texts and when I replied acting like nothing ever happened, I feel she’s brushed me off, saying she’s got her semester exams going, and is currently in town meeting all her friends here, and we’re twenty years old, please do not ask me to refer a forum!😛 Thank you.
You say: “I have no idea what she thinks about me.”
But you do have some idea, in that you told this girl you had feelings for her and she a) said it was “overwhelming” and she was “not into anyone right now” (‘anyone’ includes you) b) pulled back from interacting with you, including not making plans to meet up when she was back in town and c) you feel (correctly) like she’s “brushed you off” because she’s acting like nothing ever happened.
Whatever her feelings way back when you first met, she does not think of you as a romantic possibility, if/when she thinks about you at all. Nobody can be “the one” romantic partner for you unless they want to be. Someone can check every box on your dream partner wishlist and have great chemistry with you and everyone who knows you both could agree that you would be just perfect together and and and and…. it’s still not gonna happen unless they want to be with you. It’s just not a decision you can make unilaterally without the full and enthusiastic participation of the other person. If this woman wanted to be with you, you’d know, because she’d be telling you that she returns your feelings and she would make sure to spend time with you. She’s not doing any of those things. She is texting you to say “hi”, like she would for any friend. Remove the Wishful Thinking goggles and look clearly at her actions and words.
It’s time for you to:
a) Listen to the Statistically Accurate Love Song.
b) Stop monitoring her activities on social media. Her friendships and free time are not really your business, and it’s just making you anxious and jealous.
c) Make some plans with your friends and try to meet some new people.
d) When you find yourself thinking about her, try to distract yourself. Acknowledge the thought and then imagine it floating away like a little cloud or popping like a balloon.
e) Be nice to yourself and give it time to feel better.
Letter Writer, when you told her how you felt, you did a cool, brave thing. Rejection hurts, and the anxiety and loss you are feeling is real. Most of us have been there many awkward, painful times, and we learn over time that it’s not the end of the world. I promise you that you will be fine in time if you can let this woman go and stop obsessing. One person not wanting to be with you isn’t a statement about your value; plenty of people will be happy to get to know you and eventually some of them will appreciate your affection and loyalty and be happy to return those feelings and meet someone like you who is not afraid to put his feelings out there. The longer you stay fixated on this one girl, the longer it will take you to find them.
With love and good wishes from the other side of the world,
Rewatcher’s note: Back in 1987, one of the best reference works of its kind, Mr. Scott’s Guide to the Enterprise, was published, and it is one beloved by many Star Trek fans. Its author, Shane Johnson, has since transitioned and is now Lora Johnson, and she’s having some major medical issues relating to a heart defect, and needs help. A GoFundMe page has been set up to help her with the massive medical bills. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Lora's Medical and Surgery Fund
- Bodies of Ace Kimberly and daughter Rebecca are identified
- Boat went missing last Sunday after leaving Sarasota for Fort Myers
The US coast guard on Saturday suspended the search for a Florida family last seen on a sailboat in the Gulf of Mexico.
Ace Kimberly and his three teenage children were last in contact last Sunday, while sailing from Sarasota to Fort Myers for repairs to the vessel they lived on in Sarasota Bay.Continue reading...
It has been commented upon quite extensively that there is among certain sections of the population a nostalgia for the Britain past that never was.
One of the things that is the forefront of my consciousness at the moment because of thing I am writing is a nostalgia for the futures that never happened.
All those utopian visions of various forms of nicer, kinder, fairer, cleaner, safer, all round more pleasant societies.
And, okay, one can see the problems when revisiting them, and sometimes they are not places one would really like to live though might be fine for a visit, but still -
I will take a bland 'paradise of little fat men' (Orwell on Wells: this actually strikes me as something of a mischaracterisation of Wells' utopias) over a dystopia of inequality and fears of the 'other', any day.
I'm asking seriously. What do people think is effective? I go to rallies and activist events on local issues of environmental justice. I vote for progressive candidates. I donate to get money out of politics, to overturn Citizens United, to restore voting rights, to address income inequality. I listen to and elevate the voices of people less privileged than I am. I pay attention.
It's not enough. I am seriously afraid, and I can't just sit here and watch the world go to shit.
The power of a single individual isn't really the point, of course. Collective action is what's needed. But how? With whom? What will work?
Video-sharing websites are taking down Isis videos and other violent propaganda with technology used to remove copyright-protected material
Some of the web’s biggest destinations for watching videos have quietly started using automation to remove extremist content from their sites, according to two people familiar with the process.
The move is a major step forward for internet companies that are eager to eradicate violent propaganda from their sites and are under pressure to do so from governments around the world as attacks by extremists proliferate, from Syria to Belgium and the United States.Continue reading...
Couple were overcome by smoke outside their house in Kern County, where wildfire has destroyed at least 80 homes and burned nearly 47 square miles
A vast wildfire that has burned at least 80 homes in central California killed an elderly couple as they tried to flee, authorities said.
The couple were outside their house when they were overcome with smoke, Kern County sheriff Donny Youngblood said at a Friday evening news conference on the fire that has burned nearly 47 square miles and forced the evacuation of 1,500 homes near Lake Isabella, a popular recreation area east of Bakersfield.Continue reading...
I think it's the hope that someday, the warm community spirit of more-than-140-characters will come back to me, and to this place. It seems worth the thirty-five bucks to hang on to that hope for another year.
And I just saw this, which reminded me about my account expiry notice:
*it's at least in part, I suppose, because embedding other media here seems anachronistically iffy.