Automated Attack Monkeys, Scalpel Mines, & Acid

AGENT 1: Well what about Ivanova? She was near Washington.

AGENT 2: No, we lost her in the first year when they showed the Rogar Corman film on TV at Halloween. Who knew they recited the poem at the start of it?

AGENT 1: Petrov?

AGENT 2: Went on a killing spree on his son's first birthday. I told you Happy Birthday was a bad activation poem for a sleeper agent, but would you listen?

AGENT 1: Prutkova?

AGENT 2: Killed everyone at her own wedding when they recited Maya Angelou.

AGENT 1: Well what about Syratov?

AGENT 2: A most unfortunate incident in a kindergarten. The Cat in the Hat is apparently quite commonly read to children...

AGENT 1: Well who does that leave?

AGENT 1 & 2 together, triumphantly: ...Karlova!

Agent 1 picks up a phone, consults the paper, dials a number, and recites in sepulchral tones:

AGENT 1: Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away...

Similar to John Stuart Mill:

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Alexis Colby is divorced from Blake Carrington, a fabulously wealthy oil magnate who marries his secretary [and her cast iron hair] Krystle Jennings at the show's inception; the jealous Alexis, head of her own oil corporation [aren't we all?], does everything she can to destroy their union. The rest of the cast is comprised of Blake and Alexis' four children: the promiscuous amnesiac Fallon [isn't she the one played by Doctor Quinn Medicine Idiot who gets abducted by aliens?]; Adam, who was kidnapped at birth [WHAT?]; the sexually ambivalent Steven [what you mean he can't decide if he wants a shag or not?]; and Amanda, who has run off to Europe. During the first season, Krystle adapts to her new role as an aristocrat, and Blake tries to work through his problems with his gay son [ah, so ambivalent means GAY! I see...], though he is eventually put on trial for the murder of his son's lover [because murder is the best way of working through one's problems]. Episodes include: 'The Honeymoon', 'The Chauffeur Tells A Secret' [snerk], 'The Beating' [of the bishop], and 'The Birthday Party' [presumably not the one by Harold Pinter, although James suggests he'd like to see episodes written by Joe Orton and Alan Bennett...].

• Magic: The Gathering Tournament Participants Not Immune To Sexism | The Mary Sue
  (tags: )
  
• BBC - Doctor Who - Doctor Who Things to Make
  ZOMG when did the official site get so much crafty stuff on it! I mean, colour in your own Madam Vastra? COME ON!
  (tags: awesome DoctorWho )
  
  
• Let Me Tell You About the Birds and the Bees: Gender and the Fallout Over Christopher Priest
  Another post about the difference in treatment women and men get for blogging.
  (tags: Feminism )
  
  
• Jim C. Hines » You’ll Probably Ignore Me Because I’m An Evil Straight White Dude, But…
  Jim Hine's comments on the above post, in which Jim continues awesome.
  (tags: Feminism )
  
  
• Controversy Deepens Over Pesticides and Bee Collapse | Wired Science | Wired.com
  Nice to see that the world is finally catching up with what Vince Cable has been banging on about for a couple of years now.
  (tags: science )
  
  
• The Beer Game -or- Why Apple Can't Build iPads in the US - mark[sweep]
  (tags: economics )
  
• The Daily Mash - Britain officially a dystopia
  The Orwell-Huxley-Dick scale *snerk*
  (tags: funny )
  
  
• RealClimate: Evaluating a 1981 temperature projection
  This is why science is cool. They're always examining and re-examining stuff to see if it's right ior if it's changed.
  (tags: science )
  
  
• Atheism Rising, But God Is Not Dead Yet: 10 Ways Religion Is Changing Around the World | Visions | AlterNet
  This is very interesting, especially the bit about fundamentalist religions
  (tags: religion )
  
  
• hatching Cadbury Creme Eggs
  This is freaky and bad and wrong, and therefore I must share it with all of you. WARNING: contains embryonic Mr Cadbury's Parrot.
  (tags: )
  
  
• Jesus is not a zombie
  What category of undead DOES he fit into, then? The answer is revealed in this informative infographic
  (tags: religion )
  
  
• Pope Says Couples Who Conceive Through In-Vitro Fertilization Are Guilty Of Arrogance | RH Reality Check
  (tags: wtf? )
  
• Inevitable: Anti-Choicers Now Protesting At Fertility Clinics | RH Reality Check
  (tags: wtf? )
  
• IMAGE COMICS BLOG, THE WALKING DEAD — you know, for kids. By Chris...
  Holly would LOVE this.
  (tags: zombies )
  
  
• Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window From Another Angle [VIDEO] | The Mary Sue
  (tags: )
  

• Bradford West result was symptom of UK's brutal north-south divide
  This is depressing, but probably accurate.
  (tags: economics )
  
  
• HULK EXPLAINS WHY WE SHOULD STOP IT WITH THE HERO JOURNEY SHIT « FILM CRIT HULK! HULK BLOG!
  Film critic hulk: nearly as cool as feminist hulk.
  (tags: )
  
  
• 14 Common Dog Behavior Myths Decoded - Vetstreet
  I'm pleased to say I already knew all of this.
  (tags: dogs )
  
  
• 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women | Cracked.com
  This is terrifying, and mostly because it rings so true.
  (tags: feminism )
  
  
• Payback Is a Bitch for Abortion Clinic Protestors, Thanks to a Brilliant Landlord
  (tags: activism )
  
• The national security and anti-terrorism party | Jack of Kent
  First, they came for the NHS, and the Lib Dems didn't make enough fuss. Then, they came for the benefits, and the Lib Dems didn't make enough fuss. Now they're coming for the WHOLE FUCKING REASON WE EXIST. There'd better be enough fuss this time.
  (tags: libdemmery politics )
  
  
• Dear Technology World – Please Stop Trying To Give Me An Erection
  Funny but necessary
  (tags: funny feminism )
  
  
• Manchester Labour want to charge for A
  Smell the hypocrisy.
  (tags: ohtheirony nhs labour )
  
  
• Improbable Research » Why do Boomerangs come back?
  (tags: science )
  
• The language of the Picts
  Very long, but fascinating article. Pratchett fans might wish to scroll down till they see the Oggham diagrams
  (tags: pratchett language )
  
  
• Anonymous media briefings to soften us up for even more Internet Snooping in the Queens Speech next month - Spy Blog - SpyBlog.org.uk
  Interesting article on the news about surveillance
  (tags: privacy )
  
  
• Anthony Glees - Powerbase
  This is the sort of person who is in favour of the new internet snooping laws. Terrifying, isn't it?
  (tags: scary )
  
  

• Hapless MPs defend faith healers
  Martin Robbins: Fisker extraordinaire
  (tags: religion )
  
  
• Church HIV prayer cure claims 'cause three deaths'
  And this is what happens if we don't point out the facts to Christians who say prayer can heal: people DIE. I'm not saying, and never have, that Christians shouldn't be allowed to say that prayer can heal: I'm just saying that being allowed to say something does not mean you are immune from others, INCLUDING OTHER CHRISTIANS, refuting your claims, especially if your claims are harmful bollocks.
  (tags: religion )
  
  
• Christian MPs urged to prove it isn’t the Flying Spaghetti Monster healing people
  As usual, NewsThump says it so much better than me.
  (tags: funny )
  
  
• BBC News - Stamp prices: First-class stamps to cost 60p
  I don't think that putting the price of stamps up is going to encourage more people to buy them.
  (tags: dying industry )
  
  
• Female Crash Test Dummies Don't Survive The Crash?
  This is why feminism is important - in some cases it is literally life or death. I've emailed EuroNCAP to see if the situation is the same over here as it is in the US, and if it is, I shall try to do something about it.
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• Heart Attack Symptoms in Women
  Women's heart attack symptoms can be very different from men's. The classic shortness of breath and pain in the left arm? Not there for girls. We get jaw and back pain, and anxiety. Did any of you know that women have different heart attack symptoms to men? Cos I didn't till I saw about it on a feminist forum. Another reasons why feminism can be, quite literally, life or death.
  (tags: feminism )
  
  
• Heart attacks in women: A silent killer - Health News - The Independent
  She felt tired, under the weather, a bit uncomfortable. There was no shooting pain down her left arm – it was her right arm that was sore – and no vice-like grip around her chest to bring her to her knees. And yet the facts are sobering. Each year, 103,000 women in Britain have heart attacks, while at least 47,000 die from coronary heart disease. The illness kills nearly 10 times more women a year than breast cancer and, in Europe, it kills more women than men. Standard cardiac treatments, such as aspirin and by-pass surgery, are designed for men and there is no solid evidence that traditional drugs used to treat coronary heart disease are as effective in women as in men.
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• 'The Hunger Games' Brings Out the Worst In Everyone
  I really really am not sure what to think about this film.
  (tags: film )
  
  
• We need more real women on TV | Radio Times
  Stop the presses. Alison Graham has written something I don't vehemently disagree with!
  (tags: feminism )
  
  
• Watch Woman Get Attacked By Wolves (With Kisses)
  Oh Cthulhu I would LOVE to do this.
  (tags: animals )
  
  
• Why We Oppose Votes For Men
  Even in 1915 feminists had a sense of humour. Can we stop the humourless feminazi meme now, pls? ... No, thought not...
  (tags: feminism )
  
  
• you know what they call The Hunger Games in Paris?
  I LOLed
  (tags: funny )
  
  
• More "bloke does feminism". I approve of this trend.
  "If sexual harassment is such an intrinsic part of your community that it can’t be taken out without “turning it into something that it’s not,” then just as a rule of thumb, it probably should be turned into something that it’s not. If your community can’t introduce a baseline of respect for another human being without being destroyed, then your community should probably be burned to the ground and have salt spread on the ashes so that it’ll never come back."
  (tags: feminism )
  
  
• You’re not like the rest, and that is okay.
  MOAR awesome lady scientists pls!
  (tags: feminism science )
  
  

• Former Doctor Who companions Katy Manning & Anneke Wills welcome the new girl
  This is really sweet - "welcome to the family"! 3
  (tags: DoctorWho )
  
  
• Matthew on an interesting academic study
  "The attentional system believed to have a causal role in anxiety disorders is therefore likely to be a general system that responds not to threat but to stimulus relevance; hence, nonevolutionary images, such as those from Doctor Who, captured attention as quickly as fear-relevant spider images. Where this leaves the Empress of Racnoss, we are unsure."
  (tags: Science science )
  
  
• Were the Liberal Democrats used to 'send a message'?
  If this is even partially true, then the current FCC need to hang their heads in shame.
  (tags: libdemmery )
  
  
• A free clue to the record industry
  I agree with this infographic
  (tags: funny )
  
  
• Factcheck: Do British people pay over 40 per cent of all alcohol duties in Europe? | Full Fact
  Pretty much, yeah. Another nail in the coffin of my job.
  (tags: work )
  
  
• Ordinary Batman Adventures
  I'm not sure if I like cleaning out the cat litter or toenail clipping best but they're all awesome.
  (tags: art funny comics )
  
  
• Put Alan Turing on the next £10 note - e-petitions
  My daughter is on the top table in the top set for maths in her year. It's called the Turing table. If my kid's school can do it, so can the Royal Mint. The tenner is the proper place for scientists. We've had Darwin, lets have Turing next time around.
  (tags: government )
  
  
• Met Police lose 2005 rape handling report « Complicity
  Epic Fail, Met, Epic fail
  (tags: police rape epicfail )
  
  
• Dear Scum: An Open Letter To The Sun | The Daisy Cutter
  The day after the Hillsborough disaster was the day my mum stopped getting the Yorkshire Post after they published photos of dead people crushed up against the fences. We'd never have got the Sun in our house anyway. It seems that after Hillsborough, after photoshopping black people out of photos, after everything that's coming out in Leveson... They still haven't bloody learned.
  (tags: media )
  
  
• Verey Bowring or Something - Budget Games and Alternative Smoking (E cigs).
  Very tempted by one of these.
  (tags: smoking )
  
  
• BBC News - Electroconvulsive therapy: Aberdeen team says it 'turns down overactive connection'
  this is fascinating.
  (tags: brain )
  
  
• BBC News - Would you wear a t-shirt made from melted guns?
  Make clothes, not war!
  (tags: cool )
  
  

• Tax statements to be tailored to your idiotic, tribal prejudice
  (tags: funny )
  
• Very Important: Doctor Speaks Out on Transvaginal Ultrasounds
  (tags: rape )
  
• Sign up now and win a heart bypass! - Mark Steel
  "when a documentary exposes a ward in which old people were left for eight hours face down in a bowl of soup, the managing director can explain, "We are deeply ashamed at this dreadful waste of soup.""
  (tags: nhs funny )
  
  
• Quaequam Blog! » Know your place
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• Todd & The Book of Pure Evil
  This is a TV show I am currently really enjoying while waiting for new Bones. It has an awesome soundtrack, and one of the heroines is called Jenny :)
  (tags: telly )
  
  

• Womanthology: Heroic: now available on Amazon uk.
  ... for Twentyfive quid. Looks like it's time to start saving, or scrimping something from another bit of the budget...
  (tags: comics )
  
  
• BBC News - Project Barcelona to see BBC open archive for downloads
  To all the other broadcasters bitcfhing about this: make better programmes and then maybe repeats of BBC stuff wuldn't be more attractive?
  (tags: telly )
  
  
• An A from Eton is worth less than an A from Scumbag Comprehensive, and Oxbridge admissions tutors know it
  WARNING! Contains Torygraph
  (tags: education )
  
  
• HUD secretary says a homeless person costs taxpayers $40,000 a year
  That's a lot more than it costs me to run a household. Which begs the question: why don't we just give these people houses? If having benefit scroungers is actually CHEAPER than punishing them, then what's the problem?
  (tags: homelessness )
  
  
• I Am The New Sheriff Of The Internet And I Say The Daily Mail Can Go Fuck Itself
  Of course, those of us who are in the know have been doing this for YEARS...
  (tags: media dailymail )
  
  
• This week's Jesus and Mo
  "Many thanks to today’s guest scriptwriter, Cardinal Keith O’Brien."
  (tags: funny )
  
  
• strangecharm on why she's NOT leaving the Lib Dems
  I feel so proud and humble to know someone as articulate and empathetic as Holly, and more importantly, to not have offended her enough to make her hate me (yet). And I hereby promise to never stop shouting at people in positions of authority who don't see what the problem is.
  (tags: awesome )
  
  
• Tardis Eternity Ring.
  This is a thing which I would love to have. But I think a better use for it than sitting on my finger would be as a wedding ring for the two biggest Who geeks in the world. So we need to get equal marriage legalised so we can buy two of these - one each for Richard and Alex. Who's with me?
  (tags: awesome )
  
  
• Women in the Media as in Society? | | Feminist Law Professors
  (tags: feminism )
  
• Moving Target -
  Empty Child is the best one, I think. All things Doctor Who should have MOAR Six and MOAR Chris Achilleos
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• Of course, when it comes to Who Art, nobody will ever beat Chris Achilleos.
  Not ever.
  (tags: art DoctorWho )
  
  
• Dave Godfrey demonstrates EXACTLY the right attitude to Weekly Food Challenge
  "This is what you're supposed to do, this is what I actually did, this is how it turned out, not exactly what was expected but hey, who cares?"
  (tags: food )
  
  
• Oxford college offers old Etonians £4,000 to study “common people” | Political Scrapbook
  They can come and study me if they like. I'll give the little buggers an edjamacation
  (tags: epicfail )
  
  
• Byte Me | Batman Themed Tarot Cards
  Some of these are gorgeous; I especially like The Moon (less keen on Temperance)
  (tags: comics )
  
  
• Comparative Sex-Specific Body Mass Index in the Marvel Universe and the "Real" World.
  Interesting stuff
  (tags: feminism funny comics )