The ULC explicitly has no beliefs at all, which strikes me as up my street, but it's terminology is very Christian, and that puts me off.
Spiritual Humanism does have some beliefs, which mostly seem to accord with mine, but it seems a bit hippy.
There's Pastafarianism, of course, but I've been trying to cut down on the carbs, and there is the whole question of the Stripper Factory, which despite the assurances of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on twitter, does strike me as a bit dehumanising...
A new one on me is Dudeism, which genuinely strikes me as a belief system I could really get behind. But would they throw me out for being too bothered about things and being politically active?
And of course, I'm already a Pope of Discordia, as are we all, whether we want to be or not. But Pope is not generally an option available in dropdown menus either...
So I'm leaving it up to you, oh internets:
Which Ordination should I go for?
Universal Life Church
None of them, stick with Rear Admiral