Automated Attack Monkeys, Scalpel Mines, & Acid

On Friday I started having a pain where my ovary used to be. On Saturday my boss made me promise that if it was still hurting on Monday I would go see the doctor. Yesterday I went to see the doctor. He asked me lots of questions and poked and prodded at me and did a urine test and gave me some pills (probably made of suckrose and ackwah) and told me if it still hurt in 48 hours to come back.

This morning he rang me up and said he'd been thinking and wanted me to come back in. So I went back in and he poked and prodded again and asked exactly the same questions he asked yesterday and then said he wasn't sure what it was, and he'd swear it was ovarian but there's no ovary there, and it might be this really rare type of hernia, and I'd better go to the hospital for more tests.

So I went to the hospital. And after the nurse did paperwork and blood pressure a doctor came (she was quite fanciable, and commented favourably on my shoes) and did EXACTLY the same poking and prodding and questions as my doctor had done, took some blood, and then sent me for an x-ray. The x ray ladies liked my shoes too. I was wearing my Vibram Fivefingers.

After the x ray I sat in the waiting room for three hours watching challenge TV.

Eventually the cute doctor came back, bringing a registrar with her, and he poked and prodded and asked exactly the same questions as the cute doctor and my own doctor had both already asked me. Then he said that he couldn't feel a hernia, and that it seemed like something ovarian to him. At which point I pointed out that both ovary and fallopian tube had been removed from that side, so it couldn't be.

So, given the tests I have already had: there's nothing shown up in a urine test, nothing in the blood tests, and nothing on the x rays. Which means cancer is unlikely because they look for cancer markers in the blood, the surgeon who took my ovary out didn't leave her rolex in there because that would have shown up on the x ray, and I haven't got a bladder infection. So what do you reckon I have got, dear reader?

I have been given antibiotics, and been told to take paracetamol for pain/temperature, and to eat lots of fresh fruit and veg for vitamins and make sure my fluid intake is high. The eating part could be a problem - I haven't managed anything thicker than milk for two days.

Still, at least that explains why everything aches - lungs not working properly, not enough oxygen to tissues, tissues complain. Looks like another couple of days in bed for me till antibiotics kick in :(

I had three problems with the film:

1. There weren't enough girls in it, and those there were... Well, they were only there to orbit the boys, to help them because boys are the ones who matter. I am weary of this trait in pretty much all forms of fiction - it's probably why I'm so addicted to Bones at the moment.


2. Christopher Lee should never twinkle. It was unnerving how good he was at it.


3. Gustav's resemblance to officer Crabtree from 'Allo 'Allo detracted from both the pathos and the menace of his character.

Aside from those minor issues*, though, I really enjoyed it. There was some beautiful and innovative camerawork, and the lighting was exquisite, and the performances from the three leads (the two kids and Ben Kingsley) were excellent. And I cried. Lots.

You should see this film if:

• You like early cinema, because there are some beautifully integrated bits of old films, and a ton of visual and scripted references too


• You're a steampunk person, because the set and effects will make you cream yourself, especially if you see it in 3D


• You want to discover that not all child actors are awful and annoying.


• You appreciate a beautifully crafted bit of cinematic act, even if it's not flawless


• You can cope with all the flaws I mention above

You should NOT see this film if:

• You need your films to pass the Bechdel test.


• You need to have ACTION every five seconds, and can't cope with long, lingering, langourous artistry.


• You don't want to see Jude Law die screaming in a fire - you don't get much warning that it's going to happen, so I'm warning you now.

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In other news, I am feeling AWFUL tonight. This week has not been the easiest. So I am curled up in bed with a hot water bottle and faint sounds of Holly playing on her computer coming through the door. All brandy gratefully recieved.

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* lack of female characters being a minor problem on a per-film basis, which adds up to a major and endemic one if you consider te totality of film, obviously.

doctorwho has a friending meme going on, and via it I discovered a couple of LJ refugees who I am familiar with from doing the Daily, one of whom (darthcorrie) posted THIS:

(link here)

SQUEE! Sarah-Jane hugging Jo, and Eleven running about like an ostrich with hair, and big evil robots, and ClydeySplodey and... and... Goddamn, doesn't that look AWESOME?

♥ SJA.

Anyway, if you fancy making more Whoey buddies, that doctorwho friending meme is a good place to start.

Later today there will be a restart of my blog awards, and finally getting round to doing Caron a graphic, and possibly some other stuff. I have the flu, so am mostly stuck in bed - missed Stephen Fry's live thing at the national media museum last night because of it - and you guys know that means spamming ;)

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This blog is proudly sponsored by Caron's Musings

OK, me, OK, ignore the fact that you're not at Conference having a good time, and that you're going to lose more than half your week's wage this week because of your stupid innards just at the point when your rent is due, and that you can't get to sleep to night due to a fabulous combination of the insomnia that's been plaguing you all week and excruciating pain and needing the loo every five minutes... There must be some good stuff...

1, I looked at analytics today. Who knew that if you post to a blog, people will read it? LOL.
2, Mat is snoring away next to me. He's cute when he snores. He'll kill me for typing that.
3, I beat TeaKay TWICE in geekery in the last 24 hours. TWICE!
4, I have a doggy footwarmer. Sure, I have a temperature and am already too hot, and I can't feel my foot anymore, but it's the thought that counts.

erm...

5, Because I'm off work sick, if the pain allows me, I'll be able to do some housework as long as I disinfect after myself...

That's not really a positive, is it?

(That was a rhetorical question, Mother, I can see the comment forming on your keyboard even now :P)

OK, OK,

6, Now Show on the radio tomorrow, since I missed it tonight.

Six is LOTS of positive, right? Good. I'm going to attempt sleep again now.

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My March sponsor is Mark Reckons, who is unfailingly positive and relaxed and unflappable.

Went to the doctor today for various reasons, one of which was that the mole on my back has been getting bigger and itchy recently. The doctor says it's probably harmless but it's better to be safe than sorry and he's going to book me in for having it removed.

I have been trying to not panic about it all day (and many thanks are due to the Duracell Bunny for his cheering text messages and to Mat for being comforting) but not really succeeding.

Hopefully my appointment will come through soon...

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