miss_s_b: (Fangirling: Yorkshire)
A God-fearing American Christian - let's give him a nice stereotypical name like Billy-Bob - decides he is going to spend his vacation in England, touring historic cathedrals. He starts at Winchester. Having taken in the glorious architecture, and been suitably humbled by the age of the building, he notices something strange. In a hidden corner is a golden telephone, and above the phone is a discreet sign which reads "Direct telephone line to God. Please deposit £1 million per call. Credit cards accepted."

Billy-Bob can't quite believe what he's seeing, so he finds a member of the cathedral's staff, and enquires about the phone.

"Yes, my son, the telephone connects you directly to the Almighty himself", the verger informs him.
"Wow! Neat!"

Unfortunately, Billy-Bob doesn't have a million pounds to spare. Impressed but disheartened, he moves on to the next cathedral on his list - Salisbury. Here he finds the same thing - glorious architecture, huge weight of history, half-hidden golden phone. And it's the same at every cathedral - Canterbury, Rochester, Ely - until, having worked his way north, he comes to St Peter's in Bradford. Now, St Peter's isn't quite as impressive architecturally as some of the others, and it's not in as beautiful a location (being sat slap bang in the middle of Bradford), but it's still a pretty awe-inspiring place. And, as expected, it contains a golden phone. Unexpectedly, however, the sign is slightly different.

"Calls to God 10p. No soliciting"

Billy Bob is completely taken aback. He finds the nearest member of the clergy and expresses his amazement:

"Everywhere else it's a million pounds!"
"Aye, lad."
"Why is it only ten pence here?"
"Aye, well, you see, from here...




(drumroll please)


... it's a local call"

This joke was first posted on my blog in 2005. I feel very old now.
miss_s_b: (Fangirling: Yorkshire)
Firstly, it is the first day of Armpits 4 August. I am actually feeling a lot more nervous about it than I thought I would, me being a card-carrying feminist and big-booted butch person. If you'd like to sponsor me to go hairy you can do so here: http://www.justgiving.com/Jennie-Rigg

Secondly...



... it's Yorkshire Day.

Ways to celebrate are numerous. If you're brave, you might be able to watch Brian Blessed rap Ilkley Moor B'aht 'At without cringing to death. Slightly less buttock-clenchingly terrifying is the Yorkshire Films hashtag on twitter. Or you could just have a nice cup of Yorkshire Tea.

However you choose to celebrate, though, spare a thought for those less fortunate - all the poor buggers who don't live in Yorkshire.

Happy Yorkshire Day

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012 11:00 am
miss_s_b: (Fangirling: Yorkshire)

Source: Jennie on Pinterest

Inspired by [profile] halonic

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 07:10 pm
miss_s_b: (Default)
Should some of you need a translator for the opinions of locals on the flooding etc., you may find this link handy:

Yorkshire dialect dictionary.

Then if someone says they've bin fettlin' t'sneck agin t'watter you'll understand that they have been preparing the entrance to their home to floodproof it, for example. And if they say they've bin gawpin at straif floatin dahn t'ginnel you'll know that they've been watching lots of detritus being washed past their house.

Appen tha'll all be talkin reet befoor t'neet's art.

:D

Now I'm off dahn t'rec wi't'dog.

Happy Yorkshire Day

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006 10:45 am
miss_s_b: (Default)
Despite the fact that [livejournal.com profile] davywavy beat me to it, I'm still going to wish you all a very happy Yorkshire Day. If only we had room here for all those of you who are unfortunate enough to live elsewhere...

[livejournal.com profile] norfolkian has left and gone away*, and I feel all sad and bereft. I also feel incredibly guilty for making her come and visit me, instead of going to the motorshow with more interesting people and meeting James May. Also, I'm being calm and reasonable in debate this morning.

Help. Someone seems to have kidnapped my Ego.

title or description

* like Joltin' Joe, but prettier ;)
miss_s_b: (Default)
I had an interesting customer comment tonight. Fairly regularly I get told that I sound sexy over the tannoy at work - well, they say "by 'eck lass, tha saands dead sexy ovver't tannoy, tha knaas" - but tonight I got a new one. A Gentleman of Southern Extraction (One of the so-called Home Counties, if I'm any judge, which I'm possibly not) told me I had a comforting voice.

Now, this is something I've heard alluded to before - that southerners find a Yorkshire accent soothing in some way... So, do you? Why?

Shrublette is being a meanypants and refusing to share her bottle of water with me. To which I exclaimed "You're a meanypants!" and she said "Yes! I am!" and gave me the biggest, happiest grin...

Drive By

Monday, July 3rd, 2006 08:28 pm
miss_s_b: (Default)
I am going to attempt to backread. I may be some time.

Automotive porn I saw this weekend:

Lambo Gallardo. Guh. Drool. Etc.
Porche Carrera GT with ceramic brakes. Wow, a Porche I don't hate. Still overpriced, though. I'd rather have the Lambo.
TWO new Sprint STs... Mmmmmmmm pretty
And...

The Daytona 675 *vic 'n bob thigh rubbing*

OMG it's gorgeous. If possible, even MORE gorgeous in the metal than in pictures. I want it, and I want it now.

Plus random assorted 911s, S-classes, etc. And enough Honda CBR600s to sink a battleship.

Scotland is stunning even when it's dreary and wet, which it was only about a third of the time. Ian took LOADS of pictures with his posh new camera; on the sunny days we could see Cumbria AND the I Love Man AND Ireland from our chalet, but mostly the I Love Man. The 7 mile walk from St Ninian's Cave back to the chalet was an almost spiritual experience. Even with factor 50 sun cream I have gone a sort of pale creamish colour instead of pure brilliant white, and my Michael Jackson nose has returned.

I would move to Scotland tomorrow if I won the lottery.

And then I'd miss Yorkshire and want to move back, and probably end up with some sort of 50/50 arrangement.

Doctor Who (on a very crackly portable telly) on Saturday was actually pretty enoyable (yay) although it hasn't totally restored my faith in RTD as there were SOME cringy moments. Further details when I've watched the repeat on a decent sized screen.

I have a drabble brewing.

A momentous thing; I've finally found a BF Audio Who I haven't enjoyed. Medicinal Purposes was sloppily plotted and characterisation was nowhere near as tight as I've grown to expect. And Daft Jamie made me want to scream and kill him he was SO annoying, which shouldn't be a surprise, except that I SWEAR I didn't look at the cast list until after I listened to it...

Yorkshire Joke.

Monday, August 15th, 2005 11:36 pm
miss_s_b: (Default)
Since fun has been poked at my Yorkshireness from various quarters this evening:

A God-fearing American Christian - let's give him a nice stereotypical name like Billy-Bob - decides he is going to spend his vacation in England, touring historic cathedrals. He starts at Winchester. Having taken in the glorious architecture, and been suitably humbled by the age of the building, he notices something strange. In a hidden corner is a golden telephone, and above the phone is a discreet sign which reads "Direct telephone line to God. Please deposit £1 million per call. Credit cards accepted."

Billy-Bob can't believe what he's seeing, so he finds a member of the cathedral's staff, and enquires about the phone.

"Yes, my son, the telephone connects you directly to the Almighty himself", the verger informs him.
"Wow! Neat!"

Unfortunately, Billy-Bob doesn't have a million pounds to spare (being as the dollar's worth about tuppence at the moment ;)). Impressed but disheartened, he moves on to the next cathedral on his list - Salisbury. Here he finds the same thing - glorious architecture, huge weight of history, half-hidden golden phone. And it's the same at every cathedral - Canterbury, Rochester, Ely - until, having worked his way north, he comes to St Peter's in Bradford. Now, St Peter's isn't as impressive architecturally as some of the others, and it's not in as beautiful a location (being sat slap bang in the middle of Bradford), but it's still a pretty awe-inspiring place. And, as expected, it contains a golden phone. Unexpectedly, however, the sign is slightly different.

"Calls to God 10p. No soliciting"

Billy Bob is completely taken aback. He finds the nearest member of the clergy and expresses his amazement:

"Everywhere else it's a million pounds!"
"Aye, lad."
"Why is it only ten pence here?"
"Aye, well, you see, from here, it's a local call"

Oh, and a quiz thing with some surprises and some not...

LiveJournal Username
name
age
have you dirty thoughts??
wants to pound you till you break the headboardfracindy
wants to tongue bathe youraven_oreilly
uses your picture as part of their masterbatory rituals...tottyslash
draws xxx rated pictures of you and them togetherpink_weasel
wants to tie you down and have their way with yousoftlyspoken
wants to do you in public :Overitasema
This Fun Quiz created by Valerie at BlogQuiz.Net




Cindy, I just KNEW your Gallic will would not be able to resist my English gorgeousness ;)

About This Blog

picture of Jennie Rigg

Hello! I'm Jennie (known to many as SB, due to my handle, or The Yorksher Gob because of my old blog's name). This blog is my public face; click here for a list of all the other places you can find me on t'interwebs.






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Please note that any and all opinions expressed in this blog are subject to random change at whim my own, and not necessarily representative of my party, or any of the constituent parts thereof (except myself, obviously).

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