miss_s_b: (Politics: Liberal)
[personal profile] miss_s_b
If I get an email from a top table person in the Lib Dems it normally falls into one of two categories. Either
  1. It's in reply to something I have sent, or it's to an email list I have consciously signed up for, in which case I will read it; or
  2. It's from some party bigwig
If it falls into category two, it is subject to the Three Strikes And You're Out rule. This means that each sender has just three chances to persuade me their emails are worth reading. If, for any reason, an email from a sender pisses me off, they get a strike. After three strikes emails from that sender are deleted without ever being read. As you can probably guess, Cleggy used up his three strikes YEARS ago...

Anyway, for the edification of Lib Dem bigwigs everywhere, here is a (non-exhaustive) list of things that piss me off, so that you can avoid doing them and maybe get your emails read.
  • Patronising tone. This is my number one complaint. Even the erstwhile Farron can occasionally fall into this one, but some MPs seem incapable of NOT doing it.

  • Crediting me with something I haven't been involved with. I may not even care about your pet policy area. Don't say "we" when I haven't been involved.

  • Taking credit for someone else's hard work Don't say that you personally have pushed something through parliament all by yourself, when other people have been campaigning hard on it for years and you've just been appointed figurehead.

  • Trying to get me to support Tory policies which are against the letter and/or spirit of Lib Dem policy I know that you're a minister in a coalition government. I get the concept of collective cabinet responsibility. This does not mean I am going to toot my horn for whatever hare-brained Tory scheme you've sold your soul for.

  • Unsolicited begging for cash. I haven't got any. You've almost certainly got more than me, especially if you're an MP. Raid your own damn pockets.

  • Addressing me as "dear Friend", or spelling my name wrong. If you can't even be bothered to set up a mass mailing that scrapes names from the addresses, I can't be bothered reading your email.
I just got an email from one Lib Dem MP (name redacted to protect the guilty) who managed to hit three of those in just one email. That's a special talent right there, but I'm not sure it's one the party should be nurturing.
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Hello! I'm Jennie (known to many as SB, due to my handle, or The Yorksher Gob because of my old blog's name). This blog is my public face; click here for a list of all the other places you can find me on t'interwebs.

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