miss_s_b: (Mood: Facepalm)
I ask this because I am getting a lot of emails at the minute trying to sell me acai berry supplements and ear candles and other such woo. Acai berry seems to be we've found a fruit that sounds exotic so we'll promote it as a miracle cure. Cinnamon and Oregano are both higher in antioxidants and are both things I consume lots of, so I'm not going to pay a fortune for posh fruit.

But Ear Candles... I genuinely don't get how someone who has ever watched a normal candle burn can be surprised when you burn a hollow candle and get left with a pool of sooty waxy residue in the middle when you're done. It's a CANDLE. It's MADE OF WAX and you BURN it. Of course you're going to get a sooty waxy residue! It's not come out of your ear, it's come from the sodding candle! I bet if you stuck one up your bum and set fire to it you'd get a brownish sticky residue, too, but that doesn't mean they're full of shit. Well, only in the metaphorical sense. [personal profile] magister suggests we should try to market Arse Candles... You'd have to be an arse to buy 'em, I know that.

Anyway, given that a fool and his money are soon parted, and I'm skint, [personal profile] magisterI have had an idea to tap this market. Byron is due for a haircut soon, and we'll have a massive pile of nice springy dog hairs when we're done. If we sew little flat packets of them up in white cotton pouches and tell people to put them under their feet in their shoes for 8 hours a day, the sweat from their feet will dissolve the muck on the dog hair and stain the fabric. You can see the toxins being removed from your body!!!! We could even make them circular and tell people that because of Pi r squared it means they can eat as many pies as they like and not get fat.

All we need now is a good name for them. Miracle Footpads appeals to me because it sounds like what it is - daylight robbery - but I suspect that might be stretching the bounds of gullibility a little too far.

Anyone got any suggestions?

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Hello! I'm Jennie (known to many as SB, due to my handle, or The Yorksher Gob because of my old blog's name). This blog is my public face; click here for a list of all the other places you can find me on t'interwebs.

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